Counselling for Highly Sensitive People. How is it different?

Does any of this sound familiar or like something you feel sometimes?

I tend to feel stressed in my personal and professional life and to get overwhelmed easily.

I need to isolate myself, sometimes just for a few moments, to deal with my emotions.

I feel everything on a deep level and my emotions are very strong.

I worry a lot, I feel anxiety, sometimes without knowing why.

I need alone time after a busy day.

I have trouble sleeping because of everything in my mind.

What does this mean?

You may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). 

Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, it is not a disorder and you do not have to change to be like other people, that do not feel like this. It is just a personality trait, completely normal, and it occurs in 15-20% of the population.

As any other personality trait, it has challenges and benefits. Highly Sensitive People are known to be empathetic, intuitive and very creative. Their increased awareness to people, environment and to themselves is making them great friends and very reliable colleagues in the professional life.

How do you deal with the challenges of high sensitivity?

The more aware you are of high sensitivity and how it can affect your life, the more ways you can find to cope with your emotions and to support yourself in the social situations that normally bring discomfort. 

• Accept yourself and embrace your personality.
• Set limits and boundaries and don’t be afraid to communicate them.
• Find other highly sensitive people to connect with.
• Make space in your schedule for alone time and decompression, when needed.
• Try to choose the experiences and environments that best fit your needs (avoid crowded or loud places, offices) and the people that respect your boundaries.

Many HSP confess that it has been hard to find and connect with other people that share this trait, especially because they were afraid or ashamed to share their sensitivity. As soon as you accept and start to love yourself, as you are, including being highly sensitive, you might find it easier to express what you need, and … guess what? You will find people around you that are very much alike and that can understand everything you are going through. 

Finding counselling for HSP

High sensitivity isn’t a mental condition, so it does not need healing. Some of the traits of this sensitivity may create the conditions for depression or anxiety.

HSP sometimes find it hard to manage everyday stress. They might feel lonely or misunderstood, they might feel low for longer periods of time. 

So, if you feel that there are some things in your life that you could handle better, finding professional help can be a good idea. 

What has been proven effective in dealing with high sensitivity?

Here are some activities that have shown benefits in dealing with the challenges of HSP:

• Meditate or journalling. Calming the mind through meditation or allowing your thoughts and emotions to come out, by putting them on paper, cand be a great help when you feel overwhelmed. 
• Talking therapy – it can create the time and space to process your feelings and find better ways to cope with them in the future
• Exploration of feelings. This is a Buddhist concept, called equanimity, which means giving yourself the permission to feel and finding the balance around it. 
• Understanding impermanence. Also coming from Buddhist philosophy, impermanence means appreciating the normal changing-ness of each experience. 

Those last two concepts, equanimity and impermanence are at the foundation of the community we are creating here and we strongly believe that understanding and integrating them in our lives can make a big difference.

Equanimity is about balance. Finding the center between suppressing the emotions and identifying oneself with the emotions. It is often misunderstood for ignoring or suppressing the feelings. 

Denying your feelings, as well as thinking “you are your feelings”, are both damaging behaviours and can make your life harder, sometimes. 

When you apply equanimity to negative feelings or unpleasant sensations, they tend to flow naturally and to cause less suffering. 

When you apply equanimity to positive emotions and pleasant sensations, you can have deeper fulfilment and they cand have even more positive impact. 

Impermanence brings a lot of peace, by helping us understand that not everything that happens to us deserves our attention and emotions. Sometimes we just have to understand that “this will pass” and, with exercise, in time, we get to the point where our focus and concentration is not broken by little things that used to distract us. 

Understanding impermanence means accepting change, in all its forms. Sometimes change can be smooth and sometimes can be abrupt and painful, but it is a part of life, no matter how we feel about it. 

Integrating equanimity and impermanence in your life, especially as a Highly Sensitive person, can get you to the point where your experience of change is not only continuous, but smooth as well. You become able to notice change, to accept it, to notice the feelings you have about it and accept them, maintaining the inner balance al (almost) all times. 

We hope you found this article useful and we invite you to browse the site for more resources. Leave a comment below if there is any particular subject that you are interested on and you would like us to talk about or if you wish to share your feedback with us.