Nature versus Nurture Introverts

What is introversion?

Introversion is a personality style characterised by a focus on internal feelings, more than on external sources of stimulation.
An introvert is someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments, spends more time focusing on inner thoughts and ideas than what’s happening externally.

They enjoy spending time with one or two people, or even alone, rather than large groups or crowds.
It is important to mention that introversion is a personality trait, quite common (25-40% of the population presents it), and not a disorder or something that needs to be fixed.

Where does it come from?

Studies show that introversion/extraversion are most likely influenced by genetics.
Still, a lot of environmental factors, especially in childhood, influence it too.

So, it seems like children are born with this innate temperament. But the way they are raised has a great role in it as well.
If parents encourage and reward social interaction, the child can find the balance between being alone and being with other people. Also, if they keep the external stimulation to the level that the child is comfortable with, this can teach him about boundaries.

The child can learn to handle the situations involving a certain degree of exposure, while recharging his batteries in more calm activities.

Is it possible to become introverted at some point?

Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, in her book “The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child:

Helping Your Child Thrive in an Extroverted World” explains more about this subject.

She says that genes give you a “range” of introversion. So … you are born with it. And, based on your childhood experience, you might set a level of introversion, later in life.
There are people that say, or think that they have become introverted after a strong emotional experience or that it happened with age.

But the probability of this being true is very small.
You can stretch the limits of your personality, but you can not go long-term from being a true introvert to being an extrovert or vice versa.

What is the explanation, then?

No matter the introversion/extroversion tendency, there are periods in our lives when we are“forced” to act differently.
The easiest example is teenage. Most teenagers are struggling to be liked, accepted, to fit in. So …you do things that could get you in the popular group of kids.

Maybe you go to loud parties, even if it’s not your favourite way of spending your evenings. Or maybe you sing at karaoke, even if you are totally scared ��.
Who didn’t do that?
Unfortunately, for some people, this need to be liked and accepted does not go away once they grow up.

So, I think it is not that you were very social and now you need more alone time. You were just acting against your natural needs, because you thought you had to, in order to be accepted by family, society, and work colleagues.

Also, after important events in our lives, or after some strong emotional experiences, there is a chance something changes in us.

You put things in perspective and you realise what is important.

A very good example is of a new mother. After you give birth, your whole life changes.
The priorities shift, you are responsible for another human being and … the last thing on your mind is to do what others expect you to do. Especially if this is against your nature.
So, if you are a mother and only now you are noticing you are an introvert…. Don’t worry, it’s not motherhood that changed this, but maybe it made you see what you really want.

So, no matter if you have known all your life or you just discovered that you are an introvert, I hope you know that this is a great thing.

It comes with a lot of benefits and, if you think it is holding you back in any way, you have come to the right place.
We are building a community for introverts, with a lot of resources to support your growth.
We will support each other, inspire each other and reach our true potential, despite all the challenges we might meet.

Stay close and feel free to browse the site for more interesting information.