5 tips for making friends as an introvert or HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)

Very often, introverts and HSP are seen as shy, quiet or as someone who prefers to be alone.While introverts might need to have some time alone every day, to gain back their energy, it certainly does not mean that they want to be alone all the time or that they don’t like people.

All people need people. We introverts are just more selective about the ones we connect to and we
prefer quality over quantity.
Making friends as an introvert or Highly Sensitive Person can be, indeed, a bit challenging sometimes.

Sharing personal information

Most friendships are based on common interests and shared opinions or at least they start this way.
And, as an introvert, you do not find it very easy to share personal information to random strangers.
This makes it harder for people to get to know you, enough to decide that they want to be your friend.
Building friendship takes time.Making friends might seem easy for extroverts but for introverts and highly sensitive people means serious work sometimes.

Because calling someone your friend comes after spending some time together and sharing some thoughts. And, since conversation and spending time with people, other than the ones already accepted as “the close circle”, drains us of energy, it might take a while until somebody gets the verdict: “this person gets me”.
Being a friend means being available, reliable, even entertaining .
Calling someone a friend means that they are available when you need them, that they are there for
you and that spending time with them makes you feel good. For an introvert, alone time is very important and it is where their power and focus come from.

So… at least until the people get to know you …. You might seem unavailable, unreliable and … definitely not entertaining sometimes.

Is it possible, though, to make friends? Here are some tips for making friends as an introvert:

1. Listen. This is one of your strengths anyway, so … since sharing does not come easy, you might understand if someone is likely to become your friend by listening to them and see if  you have common interests.

2. Think of your favourite activities, domains or hobbies and find groups of people with similar interests. Start with the activities that you find recharging and just find groups, blogs, clubs dedicated to them.

3. Get more involved in the things you already do. Have a coffee or lunch with a co-worker or offer to help with a project they are struggling with. If you are already part of a group that meets weekly for some reason, offer to bring the snacks next time. This will give you a chance to interact more with people.

4. Don’t be afraid to try new things. This doesn’t mean you have to fully change, just allow yourself to try something new once in a while. This will increase your self confidence and might just make you more open to new people as well.

5. Clarify your boundaries and communicate them when you see necessary. For example, you can tell people that you prefer getting texts and not calls, or any other thing that makes you more comfortable.

Remember, being an introvert does not mean you have to be lonely. Statistics show that loneliness is affecting a lot of people and that the lack of human connection can be very harmful.
So, just be open to the thought that you can make new friends and that there are people out there that really get you.

That can appreciate all your wonderful gifts and will like you for who you are.
For us, quality is more important than quantity, so you don’t need a lot of friends. Just a few will do.
Just a few, that you like, and that understand and accept you.
If you feel that nobody would want you as a friend, here are some reasons why introverts make great
friends:
– Introverts are great listeners and you will always have their full attention;
– Introvert are loyal and will always value the relationship (and keep your secrets as well);
– They are very good partners for deep and meaningful conversations; they are also very
creative so an amazing source of inspiration;
– They are very organised and they remember everything. They will never forget your birthday
and they will always ask how your doctor appointment went .
If you are not an introvert, but you know someone cool who is and you would like them to become
your friend, here is what to NOT do:

– Never show up unannounced. Don’t throw surprise parties either. If they said they would rather spend the evening alone, this is actually true for them.

– Don’t insist on going to crowded places or on inviting 10 more people when you were supposed to spend one-on-one time. If you want to get them out of their comfort zone, just talk to them about it.
– Don’t take it personally when they are quiet. They might have a good time even if they don’t show it.
– Talk, talk, talk and never listen. I know they are great listeners but, from time to time, they need time to discuss and share their thoughts as well.
– Don’t expect constant contact and … if it is not urgent, text, don’t call. They are not always willing to interact and texting will give them time to reflect on the invitation or to get ready to talk.
I hope you found this useful and that I made it clear, once again, that being an introvert or being
highly sensitive is not something bad. They are just personality traits that we need to understand,
accept and love and just use them for our best interest.
And speaking of common interests, how does being an introvert sound as a thing to have in common with your friends? Who gets you better than someone that shares this with you?
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